Yep..I said it. I know I may sound slightly pessimistic but I do hate uncertainty. I should be used to it by now considering my husband and I have yet to settle on a place we want to live for longer than 4 years. As my daughter is about to start kindergarten I keep finding myself explaining to her that she will start at the elementary school here and may finish the school year somewhere else. I turned down being assistant soccer coach this fall for fear we'd move in the middle of the season. I am also looking forward to going back to work but part of me thinks "What is the point if we end up selling in a couple of months?". If we do sell it would be great NOT to have job so I can pack and deal with the closing and finding a new place. These are the thoughts that float through my head everyday. I hate uncertainty.
Life is like a roller coaster- I get that. You are not suppose to have your life mapped out in front of you and know all the twists and turns that are going to be tossed in front of you. I've always prided myself on being a 'go with flow' type of person. I have a giant flaw though--I'm a secret control freak and slightly OCD. I live by lists and charts. Excel spreadsheets make me giddy and checking off my to-do list is the biggest thrill. I plan things months in advance, am not the least bit spontaneous, and hate being late.
So what does this translate in to when your daughter is about to be at school all day and you have no job and you're in the process of selling your house but still have to live life? A nightmare for someone like me. I'm sure there are others just like me out there. I'd love to hear from you just to know I'm not crazy. Letting go of control and allowing life to just lead me down the path with extreme calm is my biggest challenge. Uncertainty will not get the best of me!