Thursday, January 30, 2014

9 Things I Learned From A Facebook Hiatus

I have had my issues with Facebook for a long time. I was reluctant to join in the first place nearly three years ago. I caved.  I do not live near my family and thought it was a great way to keep in touch. I also have this passion for genealogy so I knew I could use it to get information and connect with distant relatives.

However, I have seen this change in Facebook that has rubbed me the wrong way- being fake and posting crap.  I understand now why they say teenagers are fleeing Facebook and not using it nearly as much as they did a couple of years ago.

After Christmas, upon hearing of yet another pregnancy within my circle of family/friends that should never have happened, I decided I desperately needed a break from social media.  Struggling with infertility also makes me flee from anything pregnancy related. Go ahead, call me selfish but unless you have been in my shoes- do not judge. I decided to quit Facebook (at least temporarily).  Here is what I discovered in my time just before quitting and during my hiatus:

1.  I do not care where you are at every minute of the day.  Seriously, do we all need to know that you are going the grocery store. You got back and are now cooking dinner. That evening you are watching television.  You went the bathroom and are now going to bed.  Do we all need to know these details? Maybe you should just have 24/7 podcast.  I think you want someone to stalk you. Oh, and if your house gets robbed I will know exactly why.

2. You are fake and/or are making us believe you have a perfect life. Ok, some of you are not doing this on purpose. However, I take issue with you when you make people assume things on Facebook that are not the whole truth.  Example, you show off pictures of your new car and talk it up. Only problem is the people close to you know it is not really all your car or someone else bought it for you. When you only show the great and never the bad, people have a hard time relating to you.

3. The only time you post anything is when you are either traveling or have just bought something. Be humble. Do not make your ONLY posts be when you are vacation or bought something. There is more to your life, show it or stay off of social media.

4. You are only on Facebook to play games. There are too many 'friends' I have on Facebook that I want to delete because I do not connect with them anyway. They are only on there to play games and that is all that shows up in my news feed. I then block you from showing up in my news feed and that kind of defeats the purpose of Facebook, right?

5. I do not need your political agenda shoved down my throat. (sigh), then there are those that use Facebook to be on their soapbox 24/7.  Free speech...hey, I get that. Go ahead. As for me? Delete, delete, delete.

6. I did not miss a damn thing.  I did log back on this week.  Know what I discovered? Not one damn interesting thing. What did I miss? Nothing.  I read this, "blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda yadda." The world went around and around without Facebook in my life and I still didn't miss a beat.

7. My family talked to me more. Yes, seriously. I kid you not. I talked more with my mom on the phone because I wasn't on Facebook and didn't already know what was going on with family. More family members or friends would email or call and say, "oh, since you are not on Facebook I should tell you...." Still, none of it was earth shattering, but real conversation took place!

8. In my mind it is not fair if I share and you don't. If I am an active participant on Facebook, but 60% of my 'friends' never participate on Facebook and only have a profile and just look occasionally,

then what is the point of keeping my account? If I joined Facebook to keep up with family or connect with distant relatives but they NEVER post anything than what is the point of me using Facebook either? Just to be able to message them? I can use email, write a letter, or use the phone.

9. I realized I am a happier person WITHOUT Facebook. Once off Facebook, I do not care so much about what other people are doing. I focus on myself. We went to visit my parents and for most of the visit my phone sat untouched and at least 20 feet away from me.  In the evenings my phone sits in the kitchen while we are in the living enjoying family time.  I do not get down in the dumps because someone is on vacation and plastering it all over Facebook while I wallow that I desperately need one. I don't question others decisions and ideas anymore. I only question my own.

After a week or so of no Facebook I noticed that I did not miss it. If I go back it will be on my terms and changes will be made. Live your life, not someone else's.

Monday, January 13, 2014

"These little earthquakes"....

"ooh, these little earthquakes. Here we go again. Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces." - Tori Amos

The first 12 days of 2014 better not be an indication of how the rest of the year will be.  The outcomes are good, but having anxiety so early in the year is enough to want me to have 2013 back if only for a moment. A call to return after a mammogram is enough to break even the strongest of souls.  Yes, I am young. 34. Most women don't worry about mammograms so young.  I have no choice but to worry.  My grandmother passed away from breast cancer and my mother is in remission.  I have had my fair share of health issues and have been poked and prodded enough to last a lifetime, but 'spots' on a mammogram can bring you to your knees.  This was my first mammogram and no one bothered to tell me that about 50% of women get called back for a follow up.  That doesn't change the fear.  In the end- all is good. Whew. Walking on air is the only way to describe the way I walked out of that hospital last week.

My dad has already been in and out of the hospital this year. We had crazy weather that resulted in my husband and daughter being home from work/school for three days. Welcome cabin fever! Our neighbors have sold their house which has been on the market just as long as us. Gives us hope, but at the same time so disappointed it wasn't us with the 'pending' on our sign.

It is only January 12th. Strap in. Those little earthquakes are waiting.

I am also experimenting with something that I truly believe is changing my life, my outlook, my attitude, and my priorities.  I am giving it a bit more time before I discuss.  Soon.....

                                                   Happy New Year!