Thursday, July 31, 2014

No Second Chances

That was the shortest summer vacation I have ever experienced--with a child OR when I was a kid.  My daughter got out of school June 5th.  Today was her first day of 2nd grade. I am serious. July 31st. It is still technically July and I sent my daughter off to school today. Every first day of school is tough, especially this year for two reasons.
First reason? New school.  My daughter started at this school the first week of May so, really, it is still new to her. I could see it on her face this morning- no big smiles. I could tell from the hug she gave me last night- I had to pry her off of me. However, my daughter being the independent, brave little girl that she is, holds it all in and goes at it with all she's got. I hope she holds on to that bravery for the rest of her life, but I also hope she finds a way to release stress.
She also never wants to show how scared she is in front of me. The only words of her true feelings were said to her father, not me. My feelings are not hurt. I know at this stage in life it is all about daddy. Yeah, I read that in a book, "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters", which my husband has read--all the way through! (insert sarcasm).  She is growing up way to fast. Every time I buy her new clothes or shoes I pretend to yell at her and say, "I told you to stop growing! You didn't listen!".  Then we both laugh together and she says, "But I can't help it. I have to get big and strong!".  Love. that. girl.

Second reason- This is my last shot (pretty darn sure). A lot of parents get a second shot at moments. You know...."oops, forgot to get pictures of Timmy's first steps. Oh well, we'll plan better for the second kid."  We probably will not get that second chance. God must have other plans for us and our tiny little family. I take a ton of pictures, spoil my daughter a little, make moments extra special, etc.  That is what you do when you have one shot at parenting.  There is no "we will do that with the 2nd" kid. Not saying other parents don't make moments special for all their kids, but...well, it is just different with one kid.  All the big moments are firsts and probably lasts.  Know what though? I am becoming content with that concept.  It has taken me about three years to make that transition, but acceptance is most of the battle.

So here's to an excellent first day of school!

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