Up until now I have been somewhat...um...let's say, safe, on my blog. Yes, I have hidden a lot from my blog followers. I have been straight laced. I see it as boring. No, I am not necessarily calling my own blog boring. However, you can only go on about the same things over and over again until it DOES become boring. I have made a commitment to this blog now that I will be more open, honest, truthful and blunt. If you like it, great! If not...see ya! I have held my tongue for the 34 years of my life. I have learned that it gets me no where.No one's life is perfect and in no way do I want to portray that mine is. Nor do I want to come off as 'supermom' because hell, I am far from it.
So in the interest of this new found freedom to express myself, I will start off with something that lies in my head every single day and I will just put it out there for the world.
It took us three years to have our daughter. She is our miracle child from the trials of infertility. My husband and I married knowing there was a chance we would never have children. To spare you the details I will say it is a combination of pre-cancer cells and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Our daughter was born 6 1/2 years ago. We have faced secondary infertility now for 6 years. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I have been poked, prodded, injected, lectured, etc. Really, when do you call it quits? How can you call it quits when your daughter draws pictures of you with a baby in your belly? How do you tell your child you quit when she says she looks out her window at night and prays to God for a brother or sister? I don't know...someone tell me.
I get the fact that very few people know what we are going through. I understand that even the people that do know just don't get it and can never fully grasp the situation. However, understand this and we will all live in harmony:
-Do not get your feelings hurt when I choose not to attend your baby shower.
-Do not expect me to jump and down at your announcement that you are pregnant or at the gender reveal.
-Do not say stupid and ignorant things to me such as, "Just relax, it will happen", "At least you have one kid-be happy", "Do you know how ovulation works?" (Yes, someone ACTUALLY asked me that!), "Go on vacation or forget about it for awhile...then it will happen", "Just adopt", and the worst one...."Just get a hysterectomy and forget about it".
-Lastly, the WORST thing a couple with infertility wants to hear is that your child was an "Ooops!".
Please people...think before you speak.
Oh..and on a side note. Never ask a couple when they are going to have kids or why they do not have kids yet. You never know what is going on privately. Let it be.
Yes, I have more arsenal in me waiting to me released. I won't hold back anymore. I am a Communications major and trust me...I am ready to communicate. Whether you like it or not. Not every post will be so out there but just expect it more often.
Hugs to you. I understand how you feel. I did not have fertility problems, instead I had very scary pregnancies and births due to preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. Terrifying emergencies are all I know of bringing babies into the world. So I get where you're coming from about how others behave.
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