Fresh Blog and Beautiful Butterflies

Six days left of the school year. I can't tell you where this past year went. Even harder is that my little girl will be a third grader. And to think...I told that girl to stop growing up! She never listens.

If you have not noticed already---I changed my blog! Maybe not a huge change but I changed the name of my blog to 'Braving Transition' which means I also changed my web address. It may mess up those who just checked in on my blog by using the web address, but hopefully I can notify some of my followers of the change.  I also tweaked the look of my blog and created a new banner. It needed to be freshened up a bit.  I considered switching web hosts but blogger will do for now. I am not looking to make money off of a blog. This is simply a creative outlet for me.  I love photography, writing, editing, and designing so this allows me a way in which to combine all of my passions. So thank you if you still check in on the blog.

We recently finished up our butterfly house. We usually do this every year but for some reason we forgot last year. We bought our butterfly house several years ago so now I just order the caterpillars through Insect Lore.  The caterpillars arrive in a little container which also has food for them while they grow.  After watching them feed and grow for about 7-10, they hang from the top of the container and form Chrysalides.  We then transfer the paper they are hanging from to the butterfly house and attach the paper to the inside top of the house with a safety pin.  After another 7-10 days they emerge as beautiful butterflies.  We watch them for a few days while putting sugar water on flowers for them to feed.  The best part for my daughter is releasing them.  She stuck her hand in the house and got them to crawl on her finger so she could take them out and let them fly off.

A couple of years ago I did a bucket list for summer activities with kids. I am thinking I may need to do another one for this summer. My daughter only has eight weeks of summer and one week will be spent at my parents so that leaves seven long weeks to fill with activities. However, the neighborhood pool is behind our house and I can tell you where we will be 90% of the time. Any summer fun ideas you have done or plan to do?

Keep caterpillars in the container they come in until they are chrysalides

This is the original kit that we bought

Reusable butterfly house

You can drizzle sugar water on flowers or add fresh fruit to the house

The 'Transition'

I was in the grocery store the other day on what was probably my third trip that week.  Life of a mom. Anyway, I was ready to check out and got behind a mom and her daughter that looked to be about 2-3 years old.  The little girl was in tantrum mode- crying and screaming about something she wanted to get.  The mom looked exhausted and something told me that this was not her only child but rather more than likely one of at least three or more. Instantly I cringed and blessed my lucky stars I did not have to deal with that anymore. I have been there. I know what this mom was going through and I felt for her, but it still made me cringe for my own situation.

Our miracle

In that moment in the store I realized I was totally, full blown, in the middle of the transition. Transition? Let me explain. Last September my doctor told me that since I was approaching 36 I probably needed to start getting over wanting another child.  UGH! I felt like he punched me in the gut. I know plenty of women my age just now getting married and having their first kids. Why is my doctor so pessimistic? In my heart I know he has every obligation to tell me this.  It is fact. He also asked me how long we have been trying for baby number two.  Eight years. Yes, eight years.  He knows full well that if it has not happened yet, it most likely won't happen.
I have always believed in faith and hope but more recent health issues somewhat related to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome are probably about to put a nail in the coffin. This transition is real, present, and long.

I can say that over that last four years I have been in the transition going through various stages.  In the beginning I could not handle any pregnancy announcements (which no one seemed to understand but that is rant I will not go into here). I'd call this the "Leave Me The Hell Alone" stage. In those early years I found it so hard to even look at a baby. I kept all of our daughter's baby items and refused...REFUSED...to get rid of anything. Last year I finally condensed everything down and kept a tiny little box of memorabilia.

Last week, after seeing that screaming child in the store I realized I am in the last stages of this transition. That was confirmed when my daughter and I went to the library and parked behind a minivan. A mom was getting her four kids out of the car and prepared to go into the library. Yes, prepared. It was quite a task.  She was getting the baby set into the stroller, a girl around age two was running away from the car, and two boys between four and six years old were crying hysterically. The mom seriously looked like she was going to lose it. Again, good for her in this stage in life and I know her kids are not always crying but I mumbled to myself, "No way...no thank...goodbye....and goodnight."  Simply put--I am loving our little family the way it is right now. My daughter is at the age where she can help out around the house, do things for herself, and have a real conversation with me. It is beautiful and serene. My husband and I have more time for us and I can now focus on what I want to do with my career and future.

I will cherish that I have taken probably thousands of pictures of our one and only

Now don't get me wrong. I am not done with this transition. I wish I was like my husband who seemed to make the transition overnight....several years ago! He understands, however, that it is a long process for me and I am so thankful for his support. I still have moments when thoughts go through my head like, "I don't want to be done with finger paints and Mickey Mouse Club" or "Our daughter will be alone someday".  Those are the moments when I wish I could snap my fingers and have it be done and out of my mind. Someday.

The unexpected side of this transition is that it includes my daughter.  She, too, has to make the transition. For years she has drawn pictures of me with a baby in my belly, told me she asks God for a brother or sister, and has even refused to let me get rid of a few things because she says they are for her sibling.  This is as much a long process for her as it is for me.

My intention is not to be Debbie Downer.  No.  This transition is actually a really hopeful and happy path.  Our lives are going in a great direction right now despite this emotional roller coaster.  This post also proves that tomorrow is a new day and you never know what will happen or what will change. Live for the day.