Blast from the past

There are times my daughter can really make me feel old.  Three weeks ago we were in CVS and there is a red corded phone (your standard 70's/80's type that would sit on a table) being used for a display of something that I don't even remember.  She scrunched up her face and looks at me and says, "WHAT IS THAT?!" I gave a little sigh in anguish that she is part of a generation that is in a completely different technology age than when I was growing up.  Ok...and the sigh was because I realized that yes, I am getting old. I explained what it was and just says "That's just so weird!"  Gee, thanks honey.

Today as we are packing up stuff to make this house less cluttered for showings she wanted to help me pack up some CD's.  Thankfully, yes--she knows what CD's are. However, there were a few cassette tapes mixed in and again I get the look and the question, "WHAT THE HECK ARE THESE?!"  I told her that was how I used to listen to music. Her response again was like a knife, "Umm...that's just silly mommy".  Thanks again honey. However, I have to admit that I, myself, started laughing when I was going through these old CD's.  Here is a blast from the past for you that I uncovered today:

• Snow- and my personal favorite of his (ok, he was a one hit wonder) was Informer, which for some reason I remember playing over and over again on lunch breaks in 8th grade. 
• No Doubt
• Backstreet Boys - Just so you know- that's not even my CD, it's my husbands!
• Paula Abdul
• MC Hammer - Are you 2 legit to quit?
• Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch- oh baby!
• Salt-in-Pepa 
• Boyz II Men - One of my all time favs! Classic.
• Naughty by Nature - You down with OPP?
• EnVogue
• All-4-One - Whatever happened to the 'boy bands'?
• La Bouche
• TLC - I know I always chase waterfalls, do you?
• Wallflowers
• Barenaked ladies- I just think of American Pie when I here them
• Ricky Martin - was dismayed to see my name label on it so I have to admit it is mine and not my husband's
• Firehouse- Love of a Lifetime- need I say more?
• Spin Doctors
• Clay Walker- Man! whatever happened to him. Oh wait, I saw him on an episode of "Selling New York" trying to find a home to buy in NYC. 

Then I sit and debate whether to throw out some of these CD's since I am in a purging kind of mood. Honestly, you just can't do that to good 80's and 90's music. I still keep it alive- my daughter knows all the words to Footloose!

I have also been asked, "Did you watch Spongebob when you were little?" and I reply, "No honey, we had good cartoons." So as my birthday approaches I guess I have to wise up to my age (eh--yes, I know I'm not old) and not tell everyone I am 29. In honor of my birthday why doesn't everyone go out and find something that just isn't around anymore and share with the world. A blast from the past can always put a smile on your face.

There are no sick days

Most of the time I love being a stay at home mom. There are those times I get a little stir crazy and feel I need a job but for the most part I love being at home. I plan on going back to work come fall...Yikes! I haven't been in the working world in almost 6 years!
 The best parts of being at home:

• You are the one to be there to comfort and teach your child everyday. 
• I can be here for deliveries or repair men.
• I am able to keep up on cleaning the house (laundry, dishes, etc).
• I can exercise almost anytime.
• On days my daughter doesn't have preschool we sleep in a little.
• Beautiful days can be spent at the park, rainy days at the library.
• Get to hang out with my other stay at home mom friends during the week.
• Doing art, music, and activities during the week with my daughter is priceless.

However, there is a huge drawback that I am experiencing at this moment:
       There are no sick days! 

If my husband gets sick he can simply call into work and hibernate upstairs and know that all will be taken care of downstairs. I will keep our daughter quiet or we'll go out for the day. I'll run and get him medicine or anything else he needs. For most stay at home mom's there simply are no sick days to take.  I cannot sleep all day.  I have to run and get medicine myself with my daughter in tow. I still find myself cleaning, doing laundry, etc. while barely being able to stand up. I still have to fix lunch and dinner for my daughter, play with her, get her ready for bed (seeing as my husband works late).
Not that I am complaining here...merely stating a fact--there are no sick days for stay at home moms. I salute all other moms who are also sick right now struggling to get through the day. May our kids go easy on us! Ha ha..wishful thinking, I suppose.

Oh those questions children ask!

With so many people having babies around us my daughter keeps asking the inevitable question, "When can I have a brother or sister?".
Last night, after putting her to bed, my husband and I were downstairs watching TV. You could hear her yelling and it sounded awfully loud but realized it was because she had her window open.  I went upstairs to explain to her that it was too cold to keep the window open and the neighborhood probably wouldn't appreciate her yelling out her window.  She proceeded to tell me that she had to open her windows at night because she has to talk to God to tell him to bring her a baby brother or sister. My heart sank and I honestly tried my hardest not to cry. She also often asks me why all her cousins have brothers or sisters and she doesn't.

Our daughter at 7 months

Here is the dilemma of a situation you can't possibly explain to a five year old.  First of all, I'm not about to explain the birds and bees to a five year old. Secondly, a five year old cannot possibly understand the meaning or explanation of infertility. It is honestly a miracle she is even here and if not for a gut feeling of my old Dr. to NOT do a procedure on me 6 years ago she wouldn't even be here (not knowing yet that I was pregnant with her and by the way--that dr. is our angel). There is also no way a 5 year old can comprehend that mommy has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome-- a complicated web of hormone problems/insulin resistance/pain/cysts/weight gain etc. etc.  So what do you say? You get thrown into one of those speechless moments, fumble with words and try to come up with something that is short and sweet.

My husband and I were told before we even got married that children might not be possible. Not just because of the PCOS but of previous pre-cancer cells that I had and the many procedures to get me well. In trying to avoid to much information, I do feel talking about it brings awareness to PCOS.  The show "The Doctors"  recently did a show about it and it was so great to see people talking about it. It's an everyday struggle that effects just about every minute of my life because every bite I put or don't put in my mouth effects it. If I miss a day of exercise the pain/lethargy comes back.

So questions that my daughter asks I have no answers for. I only tell her that she is a miracle and we get to give her all of mommy and daddy's love and attention.  I know if she ends up being an only child that one day she will understand why.

Easter

Spring is my favorite time of year. I can finally get out and capture some great shots on my camera of all the beautiful blooms. We also enjoy Easter with coloring eggs, baking sugar cookies, and looking for eggs on great grandma's farm. The day was a little breezy but simply beautiful. 

You can always go home

I live in a small town and frankly...it can be quite boring during Spring Break when you are a stay at home mom and most everyone else is gone for the week. This year, with my husband away on business, my daughter and I decided to take a road trip to see my family. It's not always the easiest decision because driving four hours with a five year old isn't the most pleasant thing in the world. "Mom, I'm bored" ---even though the back seat is completely littered with toys, books and stuffed animals.  "Mom, I'm hungry"  --- time for a pit stop! "Mom, I have to pee" ---another pit stop. "Mom, what's that?....and that?...and that?...and that? ---get the picture? Not even a little snooze for her on this four hour drive. Finally--as we cross over I-94 and see my hometown spread out before us, I finally relax and take in a deep breath. I can't say I would ever want to live there again but going back for visits always tugs at my heartstrings. 

Although it's not the house I grew up in, arriving at my parents always puts that warm, cozy feeling in me. No matter where my parents live I believe that distinctive smell will be with them. It's the pleasant smell of home...I couldn't even tell you what it is. Maybe it's a certain perfume, candle, or just my mom's cooking. I'll never be quite sure. Enjoying my mom's cooking is always a reason to go home.

Finally we get to relax and simply enjoy the splendors of home. Driving around town is like a walk down memory lane every time. I point out all the things that have changed and remember the way it all used to be. Then there are those certain things I just have to do every time I visit...like go to the outlet mall even if I don't buy anything, drive by Lake Michigan, check out how my old grade school is looking, and either enjoy Carlson's root beer and hot dogs or Hacienda Mexican Restaurant. All the while I am pointing out to my daughter all the places I used to go to as a child, where grandma had her hair salon, where great grandpa lived, the route I used to walk from school to grandpa's house, where her daddy and I went on our first date. It's all here...waiting for me every time I visit. Despite what is going on in my own life, I can always take a break and go for a road trip and get my nostalgia fix---because you can always go home.