Decisions and Dreams

Lately around here we've been all about decisions and dreams.  We believe 2012 will be the type of year that defines the rest of our lives;  decisions that put our family (the three of us) first above all else.  Ever feel you are on the verge a big changes and don't quite know how to prepare for them? That's me.  I often stand in the middle of my living room and look around thinking in my head "what can I do at this very minute to help prepare for changes?".  Some days I just can't do anything and I feel very stuck.  I've always been a very organized, be prepared for anything type of person. I love checking off items on my 'to-do list'.  When you're sitting in limbo just waiting for different things to fall into place you can go a little crazy. I want to check off the big items on my list...but...in time I know I will. I've never been the most patient person and decisions and dreams that can't be made in a day wear on my nerves.

Adele who?

I've noticed a phenomenon with being a stay at home mom. It might not be this way for all stay at home mom's, but it is for me.  I heard a list of the winners from the Grammy's this year and had no clue who most of them were. I felt like an idiot because music used to be my life.  I played piano and even started college with my major being Music Enterprises. I was in my car a lot in college driving to and from campus, to work and two hours to see my now husband every other weekend so I was able to keep up on new artists. However, being at home everyday with a five year old doesn't allow me the time to keep up on music. I'm drained on nursery rhyme songs and catchy little numbers from The Fresh Beat Band.  We live in town so I am really not in my car enough to hear new songs and some songs I prefer my daughter not hear. Few months ago my daughter found some old cassette tapes and records. She asks, "what in the world are these mom?!"  The fact that I had to explain what they were just made me feel old (same as when she asked me why an old phone we found in a box had a cord).  In response to feeling like I am out of touch with reality and having to ask "Who the heck is Adele?" I have started listening to the radio while I am in my bathroom getting ready for the day.  I am well on my way to reciting lyrics from popular songs! I know--sounds so trivial but maybe other stay at mom's out there can relate.

Something to call my own: New view of Valentine's Day

Something to call my own: New view of Valentine's Day: I remember when I was in high school I absolutely hated Valentine's Day. I watched as friends and classmates got those special little somet...

New view of Valentine's Day

I remember when I was in high school I absolutely hated Valentine's Day.  I watched as friends and classmates got those special little somethings from their significant others. The extent of those past holidays was a card from my mom and dad. Even after getting married I was always bitter and just saw it as a way for candy and card companies to make more money.  I believe yesterday was the first time I had a completely different view of Valentine's Day.  With my husband away on business it was just me and my daughter.  I decided to surprise her in the morning with a little gift. She squealed in delight over such a little thing, gave me the biggest hug and said "Happy Valentine's Day mommy!".  My heart melted. We enjoyed a wonderful day together (including making these sand pendants in the picture) capped off with dinner out-just the two of us.  Although my husband wasn't here I got a surprise flower delivery which made me feel as though he was here. A phone call from my mother also added to the contentment of the day.  By the end of the day I realized Valentine's Day is not just for people who have a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Valentine's Day is about anyone that you love and care for and showing those people that you love them and are thinking of them.  There is nothing to be bitter about because no matter what your romantic relationship is on this day of love, it is more about who matters in your heart. 

Work from home..ummm..not so much

A few months ago I got it in my head that what I love to do and went to school for could easily be done from home. I read the proper books, did online research, and brushed up on my grammar and communication skills. What I thought could be easy was proven difficult by a very active five year old little girl.  Whenever I try to type a blog I get one sentence done and then find myself being called away from the computer to become a child in my daughter's make believe classroom.  Hours later I try to write another sentence. This can go on all day. What is funny is that I figured that once she became five years old it would be easier to do other things in my life...boy, was I wrong. If I can only get a paragraph of a blog out a couple times a week...I don't think working from home in Communications is going to pan out. How can I complain about spending my days as a princess or playing the Angry Birds card game for hours.  I wouldn't trade her wildness for anything. I do truly commend working mom's out there--whether they work outside the home or not. My dream to transition into a working mom will come with time--kindergarten is just around the corner!

Where's my Sharpie?

I have a secret. Ok..maybe it's not exactly a secret but I doubt many know this about me. It bugs me to the point of whipping out my pen from time to time or ranting to my husband. I have a pet peeve with grammar and spelling errors. I admit I am at fault at times as well..no one is perfect. Anyone can often catch me with my pen circling errors in books and newspapers.  It's not the small errors that would only be caught by Ph.D's in English but rather the big ones that get me the most.  I have this strong desire that soon, by the light of the moon I will feel the great need to sneak over to a local hair salon with my Sharpie. Why? On their front door it states that on Sunday's they are open from 11 pm-9pm.  I'm serious...it's been like this for at least the entire 4 years we have lived in the area.  My husband can't figure out why it bugs me so much but it could be because he has the engineer mentality (explaining this mentality would take hours).  Others have asked me why I haven't brought it to their attention.  This is my dirty little secret...it's in no offense to anyone else. I do believe that it is just so embedded in me I can't help but get annoyed.  I ranted for a week awhile back because I was reading a book about freelance proofreading and found two obvious, scream in your face, errors.  Nothing is perfect- I know that. However, the error on the salon door is way to simple to ignore. Anyone out there agree with me? It would make me feel less crazy if someone did. Alright...where's my Sharpie?

Small towns--gotta love 'em

Gotta love small town America.  I took this photo when I was doing some genealogy research in my grandfather's hometown in Illinois. Reminds me why I love exploring these forgotten small towns in the heartland.

One of my passions

This is a picture of mine that was chosen for display in the new emergency room department at our local hospital.  Now, if only I had my dream camera...hey, it only costs around $6,000. A girl can dream can't she?

She said what?!

Something to call my own: How many people would take into question the hard ...: How many people would take into question the hard work mothers put forth day in and day out? More than I thought there would be when I becam...

How many people would take into question the hard work mothers put forth day in and day out? More than I thought there would be when I became a stay at home mother.  Last year I had someone close to me ask how things were going in my life.  I told her I was still at home with my daughter and doing a little photography and writing for my church newsletter.  She looked at me and simply said "That's it?" (with a tone that obviously had slight concern or disgust behind it).  Talk about a knife in the heart for all the hard work I thought I was doing RAISING A HUMAN BEING! What also struck me several hours later as I thought back to the brief encounter was, "Wait a minute! She was a stay at home mom 25 years ago!"  Yes, there are many people out there who believe that because you are a stay at home mom that you watch T.V. all day, get manicures regularly, spend hours at the spa, curl up and read a good book all day, etc. For the record- I have never had a manicure or been to a spa (honestly!) and I'd be lucky most days to get through one page of a book.  What is lost on them is that all day is like when I was a kid and my sister would poke at the air around me and say "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!".  You have someone at your feet all day and some days it's a miracle to actually get through a to-do list. I also understand that for most people, if you haven't experienced it you don't understand. Maybe there is part of her asking me "That's it?" that has stuck in my heart making me believe that if I don't do more than just be a mom my life will not be complete. Do I really want to believe that?